Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
