last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
bring money and cleavage
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
