Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
