I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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