Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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