Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
