its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
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Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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