Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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