Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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