Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
