If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
