You made me cry and you don't even care
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
