Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize