Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize