WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
