if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize