Heybabeimwearingurpanties
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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