So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
