i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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