We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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