so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
