ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
