You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize