After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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