I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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