I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
