yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
