i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This house was built for laser tag.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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