my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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