Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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