I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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