Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
