I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
