so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
