Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
