I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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