Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
