He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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