I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
