Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
