I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
