you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
