he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
