You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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