This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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