i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize