you have to choose: penises or morals?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
