Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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