Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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