She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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