Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
