i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
