like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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