Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
