This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
