so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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