I molested 6 butterflies tonight
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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