textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
