I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't deserve a penis
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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