Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
